tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44242737045920021552012-01-30T00:16:42.473-08:00The Bible -- Somebody should probably read it.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.comBlogger521100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-90330345177716995762010-06-06T23:54:00.000-07:002010-06-07T00:51:18.103-07:00

Wherein Joseph's family takes residence in Goshen, the famine worsens, and Israel prepares to dieAfter meeting with several members of Jacob's family, Pharoah allows them to move to Goshen. It is the best land in Egypt and they prosper and multiply.The rest of Egypt is not as fortunate, however. The famine that has been devastating the land for years gets even worse. Each time the people come to

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-3494093146439315892010-05-09T22:01:00.000-07:002010-05-09T22:55:39.821-07:00

Wherein Jacob is reunited with JosephJacob has a dream where God tells him to take all of his family to go meet Joseph in Egypt, where a great nation will be made for them.Jacob complies and gathers his vast family (70 in all, and the Bible lists the name of each and every one of them), and they head to Egypt. When they arrive, there is a joyous reunion between Joseph and Jacob. Joseph tells his

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-56587027165884854142010-03-27T16:05:00.000-07:002010-03-30T01:31:44.840-07:00

Wherein Joseph finally reveals the truth to his brothersMoved by Judah's pleas, Joseph clears the room of everyone except for his brothers. He then tells them the truth: he is Joseph, the brother that they believed to have been dead (or possibly enslaved).After that, there's a lot of astonishment, explaining, and hugging. Joseph tells his brothers to go back to Canaan and bring their father to

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-1605045773915786362010-02-15T23:57:00.000-08:002010-02-16T01:17:01.938-08:00

Last we left Joseph and his brothers, they were together in Egypt with the bros still unaware of Joe's true identity. Now it's time for the brothers to leave again. Before they do, Joe tells one of his servants to plant a small piece of treasure into Benjamin's bag.The brother's leave, but before they can get too far, Joseph sends some soldiers to catch up with them. The soldiers search their

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-33723124607566733452010-01-28T22:53:00.000-08:002010-01-29T01:16:27.530-08:00

Wherein Joseph's brothers return to Egypt.Wow, has it really been half a year since I last blogged? At this rate, I'll be done with the Bible by the time I'm as old as Methuselah! (HAHAHAHA... Eh, sorry... Bible humor isn't always the funniest).Even though my contributions to this blog aren't always frequent, it's never too far from my mind. And this Christmas, the best girlfriend in the world

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-45950056479909359442009-07-14T23:59:00.000-07:002009-07-15T01:20:37.502-07:00

Wherein Joseph is reunited with his brothers, sort ofFor Courtney's sake, I'm trying to go easier on ol' Joe. So, I'll be generous and chalk up his slightly schizophrenic behavior in this chapter to conflicting emotions about his brothers. You'll notice that he switches from "Nice Joe" to "Mean Joe" pretty quickly:Feeling the effects of the famine like everyone else, Jacob sends all but one of

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-24523647654122626792009-06-18T16:19:00.000-07:002009-06-18T23:36:26.718-07:00

Regarding my last post about Genesis 41, my friend Courtney sez:"Wait a minute here... God isn't testing him? his brothers want to kill him but settle on selling him into slavery? then he gets thrown into jail? you're right, piece of cake :) But Abraham never got thrown into jail..."Okay, I'll admit. A couple of years in the slammer is no easy ordeal. I'll give Joseph that.Maybe my problem with

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-65139258749645011052009-06-16T14:33:00.000-07:002009-06-16T15:27:34.401-07:00

Wherein Joseph soothsays his way into Pharaoh's good gracesHere's the basic rundown of Genesis 41:Pharaoh has a disturbing dream involving cows. The next day, he sends for all the wise men and magicians of Egypt, but unfortunately they are unable to interpret the dream. The magicians were heard to say:"I've made a huge mistake"Then the chief cupbearer remembers Joseph and tells Pharaoh about his

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-78965308954961267322009-06-10T14:31:00.000-07:002009-06-10T17:37:00.160-07:00

Wherein I go all non sequitur againYou may have noticed that I started writing about things other than Genesis within the pages of this blog. Sometimes I feel like I come across a religious-related article or I'll have random thoughts that I want to share, and I don't know where to put them. So, if it's alright with you, I'd like to be able to once in a while blog about something that might not

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-75233005664680702322009-05-02T13:02:00.000-07:002009-05-26T23:51:33.653-07:00

Wherein Joseph takes up dream interpretationJoseph is still stuck in jail when Pharoah's chief cupbearer and chief baker are thrown in with him. One night, the two new prisoners each have strange dreams. When they awake, they lament to ol' Joe that there is no one around to tell them what the dreams mean. Joe chides them, saying "Do not interpretations belong to God?" and then he proceeds to make

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-48388897639154644262009-04-22T00:32:00.000-07:002009-04-22T00:49:53.751-07:00

The most recent episode of This American Life involves a phone conversation between a deeply religious and a deeply non-religious person. What they talk about covers a lot of the tough, gnawing questions that I also have.EXCERPTIra Glass and his non-religious guest talking about why people die when they do.IRA: What if it's as simple as, for people who believe in God, God takes people at

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-26938868765875772232009-04-21T13:29:00.000-07:002009-04-21T13:54:45.111-07:00

Wherein we witness the Bible's first account of sexual harassment in the workplaceThe Ishmaelites who captured Joseph take him to Egypt where he is sold as a servant to Potiphar, the captain of the guard for Pharaoh. Though now a lowly servant, God is still with Joseph, blessing everything he does. Because of this he exceeds at his job and becomes Potiphar's most favored and trusted servant."

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-11967899619579191512009-04-11T13:23:00.000-07:002009-04-11T14:23:57.411-07:00

Wherein we detour into the life of Judah and his sons.Taking a break from the story of Joseph, Gen 38 focuses on his brother Judah, who leaves his family and gets hitched to a woman named Shua. They have three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah.Er is married to a girl by the name of Tamar, but shortly afterward God puts Er to death for being "wicked." Judah then tells Onan to sleep with Tamar to produce

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-19968739584556463802008-12-07T18:13:00.000-08:002008-12-07T18:33:27.138-08:00

Wherein the Bible gets the Broadway treatmentYou can't be a Biblical patriarch without favoring one son over your others and thus instigate a violent and ruinous sibling rivalry. You just can't.To wit. Jacob singles out his favorite son Joseph by giving him a swanky coat (of the "amazing technocolor dream" variety). His other sons get jealous. Then Joseph has two dreams in which he is being bowed

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-75186792460768377462008-12-06T13:28:00.000-08:002008-12-06T14:02:05.224-08:00

You know the drill by nowThis is another chapter where we learn the names of the descendants of an important figure in the Bible. This time, it's Esau. Interesting things to note here: We are told that "Esau took his wives from the women of Canaan". Canaan, remember, is the land of the descendants of Ham, Noah's cursed son and believed by some to be the father of the African people. This

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-26346198505918126582008-10-24T16:00:00.000-07:002008-10-24T17:55:45.783-07:00

Okay, not "everybody," but quite a few.Namely, Rachel, Isaac, and a bunch of innocent townsfolk. With Jacob's sons having just slaughtered every man in a nearby ruling tribe, God decides that it's time for him and his family to get the heck out of Dodge. God tells Jacob to flee to Bethel, the site where the stairway to Heaven was revealed to him (See Genesis 28). Jacob packs his family up and

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-59065434620417589712008-10-23T16:26:00.000-07:002008-10-23T17:23:25.710-07:00

Jacob's sons go vigilanteOne day, Jacob's daughter Dinah walked off into the area around their home to mingle with the other women of the land. While out, she caught the eye of the local ruler Shechem, who took her and "violated" her. He took a shine to her (he's a big romantic, evidently), and not quite understanding that this isn't the proper way to court a woman, he and his father Hamor go to

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-23236805382008345902008-10-20T18:03:00.000-07:002008-10-20T18:32:55.983-07:00

JACOB: "Dude, my bad."ESAU: "No dude, seriously, totally my bad."After worrying and worrying about how his brother will accept him, Jacob finally meets with Esau. To Jacob's surprise, Esau greets him with a warm embrace, and the two brothers are moved to tears by their reconciliation. All past transgressions between them are forgotten.That's about the long and the short of this chapter. I've

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-80822033106903959072008-10-01T11:55:00.000-07:002008-10-01T13:25:56.577-07:00

Jacob heads back home, brawls with the All-MightyYou may remember from Genesis 27 that Jacob had to flee his home because his brother, Esau, was threatening to kill him. Well, now that Jacob is going home again he thinks things might still be a little awkward between him and his sibling. Jacob sends people ahead of him to shower Esau with gifts to butter him up and hopefully hedge that murderous

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-74565580333774732052008-08-19T11:14:00.000-07:002008-10-01T11:55:33.120-07:00

I gave myself three rules for this post:1) Take the seventh word from each verse of Genesis 312) Use Flickr Commons to search for the top picture relating to that word3) If Fickr Commons doesn't come up with anything, use Google Image searchHere is the result:Genesis 31 Recap: Jacob flees his uncle's home with Rachel and Leah, Laban chases after them, but with a little deception, Rachel gets him

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-15362641934311769682008-07-16T20:39:00.000-07:002008-08-14T18:54:30.413-07:00

Jacob gets it on, then gets a lot of sheepJuicier than an issue of US Weekly, Genesis 30 gives us all the intimate details of Jacob's love life. As you may recall in the previous installment, Jacob's first wife Leah has already given him four sons. Well, this angers Rachel, Jacob's barren second wife, so she makes Jacob sleep with her maidservant. Because for some reason Jacob having children

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-88667208564059583562008-07-06T22:38:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:42.137-08:00

Jacob travels to Haran, meets his uncle Laban, and finds that he gets his sheistiness from his mother's side of the family.Jacob is shaping up to be the most interesting hero of the Old Testament so far. Unlike the previous stewards of God's blessing who were more or less virtuous through and through, Jacob starts off as a scoundrel and gradually becomes a decent person.When Jacob arrives in

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-75870787043271695502008-06-30T22:54:00.000-07:002008-07-01T01:05:41.348-07:00

Jacob flees Canaan, falls asleep in the desert and has a trippy dreamKnowing that Esau is planning to kill Jacob, their mother Rebekah convinces Isaac that Canaanite women are not good enough for Jacob to marry. She wants her favorite son to marry a woman from her old home turf of Paddan Aram. Isaac obligingly sends Jacob on his way.It seems that Isaac has had some time to cool off from the

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-62732135775979701242008-06-14T10:50:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:42.954-08:00

With the help of his mother, Jacob cons Esau for a second time then flees for his life.Back in the Old Testament days, blessings couldn't be wasted on sternutation - they were serious business. As we know, God blessed Abraham, who in turn blessed his son Isaac, who, now nearing death, needs to bless his own son.Being blessed by God is like being a Highlander: There can be only one. So, being able

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-49517783534369960542008-05-27T23:13:00.000-07:002008-06-03T15:37:40.423-07:00

God tells Isaac to move to Gerar; Isaac tries to pull the wool over Abimelech's eyes; Isaac gets booted out of Gerar for being too rich; wells are dug; Esau gets hitchedSo far in this little experiment of mine, I've found that the Bible tends to repeat the same kinds of stories over and over again, to the point where you have to wonder - Are these really different stories? Or did they just become

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-65451003171211206322008-05-01T03:26:00.000-07:002008-05-11T18:23:08.990-07:00

Abraham dies, Isaac becomes the father of warring twins.I am convinced now that above all else Genesis is about sibling rivalry, though this theme is often overshadowed by stories like that of creation or the binding of Isaac. First there was Cain and Abel, then Isaac and Ishmael, and now Jacob and Esau.In a "circle of life" type fashion, the chapter where we learn about Abraham's death is the

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-40216055794082856212008-03-18T01:56:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:43.209-08:00

Isaac gets a wife; I race through this post so I can get some sleepI'm going to keep this post short, as my bed is calling to me. Abraham wants a wife for his son Isaac, but not just any wife, a wife who comes from the land and clan of his relatives. Abraham's servant swears to go out and accomplish this task. As we learn through the servant's actions, back in the Biblical days oaths were sworn

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-8950060636313348022008-02-19T20:18:00.000-08:002008-03-07T03:15:24.451-08:00

Sarah dies, Abraham looks to give her a proper burial. I decide that I, like many Americans, have no real problemsUsually I try to lighten my posts up with a healthy dose of snarkiness, but it's hard to find anything funny about a grieving old man who is trying to find a final resting place for his wife.Sarah lived a good long life of 127 years. She died in Canaan where she and Abraham were

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-30817874802823439802008-01-23T01:45:00.000-08:002008-12-11T10:51:43.483-08:00

God puts Abraham through the ultimate test by commanding him to sacrifice his own son. Plus: Genealogy!I assume most of you know this story, but just in case, here's a recap: God had been making a big deal about the birth of Isaac for a long time, and finally, in the last chapter, he delivered the goods. Abraham and Sarah, even though they are both in old age, had their son; not just any son, a

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-58781848179476430022008-01-12T21:21:00.000-08:002008-02-19T23:50:42.551-08:00

Abraham's son Isaac is born, Hagar and Ishamel are sent away, there's some kind of contention over a wellAfter chapters and chapters of GPAASASBAASWSBTWTOTBC, Sarah finally gives birth to hers and Abraham's son Isaac; the name "Isaac" coming about because it means "to laugh" and Sarah laughed at God when He told her that she was going to have a son at such an old age. She laughs some more after

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-15871908442255657522007-12-19T02:48:00.000-08:002008-12-11T10:51:43.772-08:00

Abraham and Sarah go to Gerar, where Abraham tries to pull the ol' "she's my sister not my wife" routine.Oh Abraham.... When are you going to learn that when you feel threatened by a ruler in a foreign land, you're only going to get that ruler in trouble when you pretend that your wife is your sister and he then kidnaps her unaware that she's a married woman?This is basically Genesis 12 all over

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-31335745192925623662007-11-20T16:16:00.000-08:002008-12-11T10:51:44.239-08:00

Sodom and Gomorrah are destroyed, Lot escapes with his daughters, incestuous activities ensue.Having failed to find just ten good people in Sodom and Gomorrah, God sends two angels to the cities to destroy them. After decades of scrutinizing the Dead Sea Scrolls, the consensus among modern theologians is that the angels looked something like this:If you remember back to Genesis 13, Lot and

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-85518697027981298112007-11-19T09:59:00.000-08:002007-11-19T19:10:22.652-08:00

The Lord pays Abraham another visit, Abraham tries to stop him from laying the smack down on the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.You know what? I'm getting pretty tired of typing out "God promised Abraham and Sarah a son but Abraham and Sarah were skeptical because they were too old to bear children." So from now on, I'm just going to use the acronym GPAASASBAASWSBTWTOTBC.The chapter begins with

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-74819760880951848812007-10-30T02:02:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:44.476-08:00

God tells Abram - for what, the zillionth time? - that he'll make a great nation of him, that his children will outnumber the stars, etc. Only this time, God tacks on one, tiny condition...So. In case you didn't get the memo, God likes Abram a lot and wants him to be the father of many nations, of kings, of generations stretching on into the far future. God even gives Abram Canaan to sweeten the

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-84555718488435997802007-10-12T00:09:00.001-07:002007-10-12T02:32:45.613-07:00

At the ripe age of 86, Abram is still trying to conceive a child with his wife Sarai. Failing that, Sarai suggests that Abram have a child with their maidservant. Drama ensues of Lifetime movie-of-the-week proportions.I wonder if Genesis 16 is the earliest recorded account of the oh-so-familiar situation in which a woman gives her man permission to do something even though she doesn't really want

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-11422081965780175892007-09-17T23:04:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:44.759-08:00

Abram worries about dying without a child for an heir, God assures him he won't and reiterates that he will have many descendants who will own lots of land.I was talking with my girlfriend about this blog, particularly about what I was reading about Abraham, and she asked how God communicates with Abraham. Is he a voice in Abraham's head? Does he appear as a man, like George Burns in "Oh God"? An

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-9832111068291910412007-09-07T00:37:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:44.844-08:00

We get a history lesson about a war of George R. R. Martin proportions that was going on during Abram's time. Lot becomes a POW and Abram stages his rescue.I won't lie... Keeping up these posts is getting more difficult. Part of the reason is that the teen chapter of Genesis have a lot less written about them than the first ten chapters, so it's harder to find interesting contextual

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-49677094381493758832007-08-22T00:59:00.000-07:002007-08-22T01:57:02.194-07:00

Abram returns from Egypt, quarrels with his nephew Lot, and they go their separate ways. God promises Abram land and offspring.Abram, Sarai and Lot return from Egypt as a result of the whole "sister/wife" fiasco with the Pharaoh. No matter though. They return far richer than when they left. Only now, they were going to suffer from having too much rather than too little. The land Abram and Lot

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-55062272683740319432007-08-18T04:18:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:45.003-08:00

The Lord calls on Abraham and his family to leave their home without much reason or idea of a destination. Wandering ensues.I think what most people don't know is that Christianity, Judaism and Islam all share the same roots in Abraham. For Christians and Jews he goes on to father Jacob, or Israel, and for Muslims he is a forefather of Muhammad. It's ironic that a reason there is so much turmoil

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-37829668148831778962007-07-15T23:58:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:45.457-08:00

People build a big tower only to have God knock it down. We trace the lineage of Noah's son Shem down to AbramI had always understood the Tower of Babel story as a cautionary tale about the dangers of hubris. In my mind, the story always went something like this: Back in the days when there was only one language, man arrogantly thinks he can build a tower higher than Heaven, God becomes angry,

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-8961431931072822402007-07-12T01:43:00.000-07:002007-07-13T12:55:41.787-07:00

Wherein I take a break from focusing on specific chapters and talk about whatever I want.I've been listening to a phenomenal radio program called Radio Lab recently (www.radiolab.org). Like This American Life, in each episode they explore one theme. In their morality episode they try to explain what morality is and where it comes from. One point they make is that humans like to think that

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-49548588985074493882007-07-09T12:22:00.000-07:002007-07-09T15:48:40.629-07:00

Another Biblical genealogy lesson, this one tracing the descendants of Noah.Noah had three sons: Japeth, Shem, and Ham. Those sons had many more sons, and their sons had many more sons, and their sons... Well, you get the idea.Descendants of Japeth (The Japethites): Gomer, Magog, Madai, Javan, Tubal, Meshech and Tiras, Ashkenaz, Riphath and Togarmah, Elishah, Tarshish, the Kittim and the Rodanim.

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-83177177118941665932007-07-09T01:59:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:45.601-08:00

God reiterates his promise not to flood the world again, Noah gets drunk and naked in front of his three sons. Things get awkward.Okay, there's a lot of ground to cover in this chapter so I'm going to divide things up into four handy categories...1) God officially endorses capital punishment"Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made man."

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-74794745179294158182007-06-10T19:57:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:45.840-08:00

Noah, his family, and the entire animal population of the world continue to float in the ark, God recedes the waters.This is the chapter where we derive the olive branch as a symbol of peace. After floating on the ark for months, Noah sends out a dove to check for dry land and first it returns with nothing. The next time he sends it out, it returns with an olive branch. The next time the dove is

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-35849997251893520062007-06-05T11:39:00.000-07:002007-06-07T15:19:38.750-07:00

God follows through on his promise of flooding the world; only Noah, his family, and a boat-load of animals are saved. Noah gets the worst case of prune fingers in history.Genesis 7 continues the familiar story of Noah's ark. Noah takes the animals into the ark that he has built, and then God makes it rain for forty days and forty nights.Forty, like seven, is a number repeated many times in the

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-89987353527061016772007-05-29T12:25:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:46.279-08:00

A heroic race of half-angel half-humans are created (maybe), humanity falls into corruption, and God commissions Noah to build a really big boat.Here's an origin story ripped out of the pages of a Marvel comic...Born out of the forbidden love of fallen angels and beautiful yet corrupt human women, a mysterious and heroic race of giants known as the "Nephilim" patrol the lawless land of a new and

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-43567989676552332342007-05-24T18:42:00.001-07:002008-12-11T10:51:46.643-08:00

We get a quick genealogy lesson that leads us from Adam to Noah, and learn that people back in old Biblical times must have really taken good care of themselves.In this chapter we trace Adam's lineage down to Noah. It turns out that Adam was Noah's great - great - great - great - great - great - great - grandfather. For anyone who cares, here's the exact lineage:Adam - Seth - Enosh - Kenan -

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-47745846208752640032007-05-21T16:04:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:46.941-08:00

Adam and Eve have children, taking the entire human population up to a record breaking 4. One of those children kills the other one, knocking it back down to three. I try to ignore the logistics of how a father, a mother, and one son will go on to populate an entire species.Adam and Eve give birth to two children - Cain the older and Abel the younger. Chores are quickly handed out. Abel is in

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-43621191780963758692007-05-19T03:23:00.000-07:002008-12-11T10:51:47.085-08:00

A serpent convices Eve to eat from the forbidden Tree, humans are given the power to tell good from evil, Adam and Eve are banished from the Garden, God becomes majorly POed.There are two assumptions people make about Gen 3 that aren't actually in the text: That the forbidden fruit from the Tree of knowledge is an apple, and that the serpent in the Garden is the devil. It makes you wonder about

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-69387948533212915772007-05-18T02:40:00.000-07:002007-05-18T18:02:59.752-07:00

Doing nothing on the weekend gets invented, the Garden of Eden is erected, God creates man in His own image, then creates woman apparently as an afterthought. "Womyn" to be created thousands of years later.After a hard six days of creating, God finally rests on the seventh then blesses it. God likes his lazy Sundays as much as anyone. Even though people are mentioned in Gen 1, we back pedal here

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-9900009794080803542007-05-17T16:14:00.000-07:002007-05-17T19:38:18.490-07:00

God creates everything in six days, laughs in the face of Big Bang theorists.Already, I can see that a literal reading of the Bible will be problematic for me. A quick Wikipedia search has informed me that scientists believe that the Big Bang created the universe 13.7 billion years ago, and Earth came about 9 billion years later, emerging out of the solar nebula left over from the creation of our

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4424273704592002155.post-15526208035898593022007-05-16T19:36:00.000-07:002007-05-17T01:09:13.486-07:00

The Bible is a really long book. Because of this, lots of people have never read it (myself included), and yet its contents impact so much of our world. I've tried reading it in fits and starts, always resolving to get through it from beginning to end. But it's a daunting task. So many begats, archaic cities and unrecognizable names (Zaphnath-paaneah... ZAPHNATH-PAANEAH?!?!?!?) So I'm going to

Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047099232307449513noreply@blogger.com0