GENESIS 18, or "GPAASASBAASWSBTWTOTBC"

The Lord pays Abraham another visit, Abraham tries to stop him from laying the smack down on the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

You know what? I'm getting pretty tired of typing out "God promised Abraham and Sarah a son but Abraham and Sarah were skeptical because they were too old to bear children." So from now on, I'm just going to use the acronym GPAASASBAASWSBTWTOTBC.

The chapter begins with Abraham being visited by God in the form of three men. Whenever they talk the Bible writes it as "they said" this and "they said" that, making me imagine that the three men always spoke in unison, which had to be eerie. Food and water is exchanged. Then GPAASASBAASWSBTWTOTBC. After GPAASASBAASWSBTWTOTBC, Sarah laughed, because, again, just to clarify, she was SBTWTOTBC.

When God asked why she laughed though, Sarah lied and said she didn't.

The Lord then tells Abraham that he plans to destroy the nearby cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because He has caught wind of how evil it has become. Abraham thinks this is a tad hasty. What about all the good people in Sodom and Gomorrah? He tells God, "Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike." Obviously Abraham wasn't around during the flood days when God did exactly that.

God says that if He finds fifty righteous people in Sodom and Gomorrah, He'll spare the cities. Then Abraham asks what would happen if instead of fifty, He only finds forty-five good people? So God replies that He would spare the cities for the sake of forty-five righteous people.

Abraham continues to talk God down in this fashion until God has finally agreed to spare Sodom and Gomorrah if He finds just ten good people there.

Sex and the Bible: Even though the word "sodomy" implies homosexuality in most people's minds, the term is more general than that. Sodomy can refer to any form of sexual intercourse held to be unnatural or abnormal, including masturbation, oral sex, anal sex (hetero or homosexual), or bestiality. So the Sodomites weren't just gay, they were into all kinds of kinky stuff.